Author Topic: A plan to end all wars  (Read 39 times)

Je

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A plan to end all wars
« on: December 03, 2017, 08:31:51 PM »
Yer know how we pick all the fittest blokes for the army and give them loads of training, running up mountains and swinging on ropes like chimps and so on... to get ever harder and fitter.  Meanwhile the other side are doing exactly the same thing. They spend years and years training and get super fit, then they all meet up on a battlefield and kill each other.

This is where it is all going wrong!

My plan is an international agreement where only weaklings, sissies, wimps and cowards are allowed to join the armed force. Wars to be decided by who runs away first and who's left. Probably without a shot being fired. Whadya fink?

(Other plans invited...)
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 08:34:32 PM by Je »

Q13.1

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2017, 09:13:27 PM »
I think you are unclear on the concept of warfare.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mister-Boffo-Unclear-Concept/dp/0974596760

Q13.1

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2017, 09:31:48 PM »
Weaklings sissys wimps and cowards may be the hardest folks when the shit hits the fan, those who think they are ard do it for the money and kudos, they may well be up to it, indeed I am sure they are. They march stand to attention and all the rest. The point is they are conditioned to look after the bloke or lady along side them when they are blindly and ignorantly thrown into a fight. They then don't give a shit about politics or the right or wrong, they are just dogs thrown into a fight by their paymasters. They fight and kill to survive, sometimes. A bit one sided when all hell can be unleashed by western powers with aerial assets, don't we love Harry going face to face with turban wearing backward religionists in a far off land in his Apache, that is a real demonstration of such heroic effort.

No I will refer you to Lieutenant Colonel Herbert Jones, VC, OBE. Idiot thought he was a Klingon and got killed gloriously in battle in the Falklands. Twat. Where is Straight Talker when you want him about?

Q13.1

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2017, 09:37:39 PM »
The kids who join the forces on the whole want to get shot of the shit around them. The tossers who become officers, well they are just tossers who need to be taught how and when to smile and just be utterly fucking arrogant and up themselves, when along with signing on the dotted line to serve their Queen, they will and are not allowed to mix with proles by taking public transport. I kid you not.

Return of the Mac

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2017, 09:40:40 PM »
Hopefully some big bad asteroid will come and destroy us all..........then peace on Earth.

Je

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2017, 11:38:34 PM »
I think you are unclear on the concept of warfare.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mister-Boffo-Unclear-Concept/dp/0974596760

It is malleable surely... we have gone from bows and arrows to fighter planes and drones. Surely its time to have another look at this. Bombs are terribly expensive in blood and treasure. I suggest pillows... 2 each vs 2 000,000 for a tank. That's a saving of 1 999,998 per each.

Je

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2017, 11:40:38 PM »
Hopefully some big bad asteroid will come and destroy us all..........then peace on Earth.

Nooo!!! That would only resurrect the dinosaurs... or some other ferocious thing with big teeth!

Je

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Re: A plan to end all wars
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2017, 11:46:08 PM »
The kids who join the forces on the whole want to get shot of the shit around them. The tossers who become officers, well they are just tossers who need to be taught how and when to smile and just be utterly fucking arrogant and up themselves, when along with signing on the dotted line to serve their Queen, they will and are not allowed to mix with proles by taking public transport. I kid you not.

There would have to be progression up through the ranks in my scheme. The person who shows most indecision, reluctance to get out of bed in the morning, and general all round weepiness to be promoted... this will ensure we have generals who are the least likely to order their men over the top into a hail of machine gun fire when called upon...